4 signs your parents avoid Power of Attorney discussions – and what to do about it

Conversations about setting up a Power of Attorney (POA) can be tough. Many aging parents shy away from the topic, often because it feels overwhelming or they fear losing independence. But avoiding the conversation can create real challenges when important medical or financial decisions need to be made.

Here are four common signs your parents may be avoiding discussions about Power of Attorney—and how you can support them through it:

1. They change the subject quickly: If your parent suddenly diverts the conversation when you mention future planning, it may signal discomfort. Tip: Acknowledge their feelings. You might say, “I know this isn’t easy to talk about, but I want to make sure your wishes are respected.”

2. They say “We’ll deal with it later:” Procrastination is often a way of avoiding hard decisions. Tip: Frame the conversation around peace of mind: “Having this in place means you won’t have to worry later—it will already be taken care of.”

3. 3. They don’t want to “Burden the family:" Some parents avoid naming a family member as POA because they worry it will cause stress, conflict, or resentment. Tip: This is a great time to introduce the idea of a neutral professional. You might say, “I don’t want you to feel like you’re putting pressure on me or anyone else. What if we considered a professional who could step in and carry that responsibility, so we can just focus on being family?”

4. They say “I trust you to figure it out:” Leaving things unsaid can lead to confusion, delays, and even legal battles later. Tip: Gently explain that not having a POA makes it harder for family to honor their wishes. You can add, “I want to make sure your voice is always heard. Having a professional fiduciary step in could give us all peace of mind that everything will be handled exactly as you want.”

The good news? You don’t have to navigate these conversations alone. Springs Fiduciary Services specializes in serving as a neutral, professional Power of Attorney, helping families avoid conflict and ensuring your loved one’s wishes are respected.

Learn more at www.springsfiduciary.com or call us at (719) 593-7053.

Conversation starters for talking to parents about Power of Attorney

1. The “peace of mind” approach

"Mom, Dad — I know this isn’t the easiest thing to talk about, but setting up a Power of Attorney could give all of us peace of mind. It means your wishes are clear, and no one has to worry about making decisions without knowing what you want."

2. The “avoiding family conflict” approach

"I don’t ever want us to feel pressure or stress about who should handle decisions. What if we considered a neutral, professional Power of Attorney? That way, you don’t feel like you’re putting the burden on me or my siblings, and we can just focus on being your family."

3. The “your voice matters” approach

"You’ve always been clear about what you value, and I want to make sure your voice is always heard. Having a professional POA in place ensures that every choice honors your wishes exactly the way you want them."

4. The “planning is a gift” approach

"Taking care of this now is really a gift to the family. It means when the time comes, we won’t be scrambling or arguing. We’ll already know everything is set up the right way."

5. The “let’s get support” approach

"We don’t have to figure this out alone. There are professionals, like Springs Fiduciary Services, who can step in as your Power of Attorney. They specialize in handling these details, so you don’t have to worry — and I don’t feel like I’m taking on more than I can manage."